We had several friends in town this weekend for our yearly college friend "reunion" tailgate. It's so nice to find a weekend that we can get most of our friends together and I have been looking forward to this weekend for several weeks. The weekend started off great, I was having a great time and really enjoying having our friends here. Then Saturday afternoon one girl showed up and her and her husband felt the need to announce (again and again) that she was expecting their second baby but the kicker is that they said they just found out on Tuesday. Of course she finds out she's pregnant on the day I found out I'm not. When this girl first found out we were having troubles she did what she normally does and said the absolute wrong thing. She went on and on about how her and her husband must be really fertile and they got pregnant on the first try. Some people just shouldn't be allowed to talk.
I might have gone to the restroom for a few minutes to have a moment and shed a few tears. And I thought I was doing better. Who am I kidding? My heart feels broken and I'm depressed most of the day. I can't get thoughts about pregnancy, babies, or IF out of my mind. The last 7 1/2 months have turned my world upside down. I'm a very open person, talking is my therapy. No one wants to hear about IF. No one wants to hear about my doctor's appointments, b/w, online forum, what CD I'm on, details of AF, when I'd be due "if" this is our month, etc. etc. Do you see where I'm going with this?
Our families still don't know we're trying. I'm secretive at times, simply because I don't want my SIL or my sister to catch wind of what's going on, but yet it's all I want to talk about.
I'm ready to come out of the infertility closet. As soon as we either (a) get pregnant or (b) decide to tell our families people are going to be forced to listen to me. I hate that I'm stuck inside such a taboo topic and am ready to come clean.
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