Am I always waiting?

Well... I had bw last Friday and all went well.  My progesterone was 28, which is great, and I was able to meet with my doctor for the first time in a few months.  She was extremely optimistic and thinks that this month is my month.  I haven't decided if I feel that's a good thing or not... I'm not sure I need anyone helping to build up my optimism, only for it to come crashing down.  Anyways, the appointment went on and we discussed some future steps.  Since clomid has drastically effected my cm we might be looking at IUI as an option for either October or November.  Wow, November...  Weren't we just in February preparing for starting to conceive and thinking we'd be putting the final touches on a nursery by now?

Along with potentially looking at IUI as an option I will also be having an HSG test, IF this month isn't our month.  The HSG involves injecting dye into my uterus and tubes and looking at it with an x-ray to see if there is any blockage.  My doctor did mention that often times if there is slight blockage the HSG can clear it out, therefore having a therapeutic effect.  But it'll be a few more days until we know if we'll be moving forward with our next steps or if we'll be buying all of those baby books that we casually look at when we are in Barnes and Noble.

Of course I promised myself this month that I would not break down and test unless AF was last.  Ha!  Who am I kidding?  Do I really think that I am that patient?  Of course not, deep down I knew I'd cave.  Earlier this week I wasn't feeling well.  I was extremely exhausted and overall feeling pretty crappy.  I started thinking, "Hmm, perhaps this means good things are happening!"  And then I had horrible sinus congestion and a sore throat and am now starting to feel slightly better and less tired.  Why can't I get a cold when I'm waiting for ovulation... Why does my body have to play cruel jokes on my mind and my heart and get sick during the anxiety filled 2WW that I'm in?  So, as my story goes I caved and tested last night only to come in contact with yet another BFN.  Surprise, surprise!  But I was only on CD27 so there just might be an itty bitty, teeny tiny chance that I've tested too early.  Just maybe...  I guess we'll wait and see.  After all, waiting has become my forte...  You'd think I'd be better at it by now.