For a while today I was actually feeling pretty optimistic and excited about this cycle. I was looking forward to testing this weekend and a teeny, tiny part of me thought that it might actually come up positive.
And then my reality sunk in. Do I honestly think that 1 fairly simple procedure is going to be our answer? Well, no. As much as I really want to believe deep down and wholeheartedly that this is going to be our answer I just can't seem to convince myself that it's going to work.
I came across a beautiful quote this evening that I really like.
| "I hope we can be happy where we are, be grateful for our blessings now, here accept that challenge that is ours and make the most of it, and not be envious of others." - Ezra Taft Benson I think these are words that I need to live by. It's time for me to embrace this shitty challenge that has been handed to me, be grateful for what I do have, and stop being envious of others. I can't help but feel a pang every time I see a newborn or a pregnant woman. I feel it every time I log on facebook to see the newest pregnancy update, birth announcement, or "x days until baby's due date". When I see someone announcing or mentioning their 2nd or 3rd pregnancy I can't help but think, "At least you already have a child." And, "Why should you get to have a second baby when I can't even have one?" Perhaps it's time for me to stop comparing myself and where I am to the next person. I just need to get through tomorrow and then hopefully Saturday morning will bring the answer I've been waiting for. |
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